Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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