I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i will never coherently bang her
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
