Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
