Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
