dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
