fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
