pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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