Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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