We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he told me I talked like a deaf person
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
