I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
