I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
