He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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