you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
