We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think my moral compass just broke
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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