I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
