No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
