Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize