How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
