I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
