Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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