No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
