So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
