is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
