somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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