I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
