"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize