Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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