My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
