if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
