Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
