there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
