Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
