Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
4 words: hood of his car
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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