You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You are a genius and a whore.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
