Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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