note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize