I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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