yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize