Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
