drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
