I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
