So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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