She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
