anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
porn star boner night. come get it.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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