I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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