I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
