You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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