I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
