Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
