Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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