Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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