My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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