take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
