OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I need to stop coming to work sober
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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