nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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