please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
