i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
