u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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